A brand new short Space 2047-style story inspired by the uploaded manuscript and its characters.
The spacecraft Are We There Yet? had been travelling for seven hours through a part of space so empty that even the darkness had started looking embarrassed. Brian stared through the porthole and asked whether anyone had seen his emergency packet of cheese and onion crisps.
Cedric immediately looked guilty, which was unfortunate, because Cedric also looked guilty when he was asleep, eating soup or thinking about underpants. Salomina folded her arms and said that no civilised crew should reach the stage where crisps needed legal representation. Karen agreed and opened the ship’s complaint cupboard, where three old IOUs, a confused spoon and a note saying “do not feed the toaster” fell out.
At that moment Susan appeared on the video screen and announced that she was conducting an official crisps inspection on behalf of the Intergalactic Snack Authority. The authority, she explained, existed to protect vulnerable packets from being eaten without adequate emotional preparation. Brian said this was nonsense. Susan said that was exactly what an unlicensed crisp criminal would say.
The ship’s computer then helpfully displayed a manuscript memory: “Yes, packets of crisps.” Susan replied, and she then took off her Viking helmet revealing her beautiful long black hair that had been styled with ringlets. She had dark eyes, and was the most attractively stunning…
After several minutes of panic, Cedric confessed that he had placed the crisps in the revisualizing device to see if they could become a renewable snack. The device hummed, sneezed and produced one enormous crisp shaped like Planet Nouala. Salomina declared it a diplomatic incident. Karen suggested eating the evidence. Brian, who believed strongly in justice when it was edible, agreed.
Unfortunately the giant crisp became sentient, demanded voting rights and asked for a small hat. Susan passed the inspection, fined the crew three imaginary pounds and borrowed the hat for herself.
More Space 2047 stories and character posts will appear in the Space 2047 category.